We live in a wonderful country, where we enjoy many freedoms. Unfortunately, one of those freedoms is owning a trampoline. If our founding fathers had known what trampolines actually were, they would have viciously jotted down another section of the Constitution that forbids us from purchasing them. There would have been a block on importing any trampolines from outside the country, and anyone caught making or distributing them would be promptly hauled away or shipped off to some dark and lonely place. But because Ben Franklin never got around to inventing one before all those laws got written down, we’re stuck with them forever. (Here’s a great trampoline accident video – hopefully, you’re already selling yours on eBay by the 30 second mark). Our neighbors had a trampoline while we were growing up, and many a bone was broken trying to ride that metal and nylon monster. But somehow, we kept playing on it. More than that, other houses bought their own bouncing death traps and put them in their yards. Passing airplanes must have thought our neighborhood looked like a green Dalmatian.